So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
