bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
