Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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