oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
only if we run a train.
done.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
