If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
