She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Someone signed my nipple.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
