I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
