bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
