One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
