batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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