There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
