it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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