Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
