My boss' voice literally gives me gas
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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