haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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