tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
