are you still at the devil's house?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
