drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
