the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
