I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
