You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
did i walk over a car last night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
