I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize