To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You are a genius and a whore.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
