her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
