I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
