i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
