She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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