i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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