shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
