Sacagawea was the original milf.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
