Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she told me i tasted like america
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
