Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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