Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
