I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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