So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
