i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
