I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
