u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
