So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
