Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
