i love accidental penises.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
