Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
