good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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