Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
