Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
