Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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