Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
