her vagine was all disorganized.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
