There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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