If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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