she looked like the before picture.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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