so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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