I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
