If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
