Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
