Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
